A Gunshot in the Night
by jclw95
Summary: Castle gets shot saving Beckett's life in an investigation. Will he make it? How is Beckett feeling about what happened?  My first Castle fic  Rated T just for precaution.
1. The Gunshot

**Hey guys! This is my first Castle fic, so reviews are more than welcome! :) Hope you like it!**

**Chapter 1 - The Gunshot**

She couldn't believe what had just happened. One second there's a suspect about to shoot her and another there's Castle in front of her and blood, lots of blood, _Castle's blood_. Why did he take the shot for her? He shouldn't have done it! She shot the criminal, killing him instantly and hurried towards a bleeding Castle. And there she was, pressing her hands against a bloody wound in Castle's chest.

"Castle? Castle! Talk to me Castle! Don't leave me Castle! Please, please!", cried Detective Kate Beckett. "You can't leave me now! You still have Alexis, and your mother! You have _me_! Please Castle!".

She didn't know what to do, paramedics were on their way, she and Castle went out only the two of them after Castle discovered where some important pieces of evidence could be. It was around 1 o'clock in the morning. They got there and the murderer was there with a gun, he shot at her but Castle threw himself on the way.

Now she realized he shouldn't have come, they should have called the precinct.

The paramedics arrived, with them came Lanie, Esposito and Ryan. While the paramedics carried Castle towards the ambulance Lanie held a desperate Kate Beckett.

"Why did he have to be so stupid? He didn't have to protect me! He has Alexis… She loves him… He can't be gone", cried Beckett while Lanie told her everything was going to be okay, but she knew she couldn't say it certainly.

Beckett entered the ambulance with Castle. He looked… Pale, almost like… A dead body. This made her cry harder and harder. Made her think it was all her fault.

They arrived at the hospital and the paramedics carried Castle towards the emergency room, telling her to wait on the waiting room.

She made her way towards the waiting room, where Martha Rodgers and Alexis were crying, Lanie had a worried look on her face, and Ryan and Esposito were really nervous.

"Here", said Lanie, handing Beckett a new shirt. "You'll feel a lot better without blood on your shirt".

"Thanks Lanie", said a tearful Kate Beckett.

Beckett went to the bathroom of the waiting room and changed her bloody shirt for a new white one. But that didn't make her feel much better. The guilt in her conscience was heavy and made her want to cry hard all over again.

She got to the waiting room and didn't find courage to talk to Martha about what happened, she just went to an empty chair, looking down trying to stop the tears that were running through her face. What would she do without Castle? He was _her_ writer, she was a one writer girl.

Sometime later a nurse entered the waiting room. He had a nervous and worried look in his face, and the people in the room knew it wasn't a good sign.


	2. The Coma

**Here's the second chapter continuing the cliffhanger... Sorry if I took too much time guys! And thanks for the reviews, keep sending them, they make my days! :D**

**Chapter 2 - The Coma **

"Mr. Castle's condition is worrying, he's in a coma, we don't know if he's going to get out of it and if it'll cause him problems in the future, we did the best we could", said the nurse.

The news didn't exactly make the people in the room cheerful. Some tried to fight tears, some tried to think it could be worse, but no one was feeling as bad as Kate Beckett. Not only because she thought Castle's coma was her fault, but because throughout the years she spent working with him she found out more each day she loved him. Yes, she couldn't lie to herself anymore, she was _in love_ with Castle.

"You can visit the room now, he's stable", said the doctor entering the waiting room. "But to avoid that the room gets too crowded you'll have to take turns".

"Alexis and Martha should go and stay as long as they like", said Lanie, and the whole room nodded.

Alexis and Martha made their way to the hospital room, leaving Beckett, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan.

Lanie thought it would be best not to talk to Beckett too much, but she knew the guilt her friend was feeling and decided to go to the seat next to her friend. She sat there and held Beckett's hand, she could still see her friend's face marked with the tears that were still flowing.

"Wanna talk sweetie?", asked Lanie softly.

"It's all my fault Lanie… If I hadn't agreed to take him with me and had paid more attention he'd be home with Alexis and Martha by now", said Beckett with an expression that gave Lanie a pain in the heart.

"You knew he would persuade you to take him there anyway. It was not your fault and you know it. And if it had been you that took the bullet he wouldn't be able to live with himself, just like you are now. He cares about you Kate, maybe more than you can imagine", said Lanie.

"I-I know Lanie! That's one of the reasons why I feel so awful! He took a bullet for me and throughout these years of work our relationship was based on sarcasm and friendly acts. I ne…", she said begging to cry harder than before, "I never got the chance to tell him I lo-loved him! And I'll pr-obably never get again!"

"He's in a coma, he's not dead, he can wake up anytime. There's a chance everything's going to be alright", said Lanie.

"Yeah, but there's no proof", said Beckett.

"There's no proof, but we can still hope! You can't stop hoping!", said Lanie squeezing her friend's hand. "You should get some sleep, you'll feel better".

"I'm not tired Lanie", said Beckett, but it was a lie, she was really tired, "I won't be able to sleep after what happened".

"Well, I think I'm going home. Wanna come? You can stay with me", said Lanie.

"I'm gonna stay here Lanie", said Beckett.

"Alright, if you need anything _call me_. I mean it, anything!", said Lanie.

"I will Lanie, promise", said Beckett.

"Okay, night sweetie, I'll come back tomorrow", said Lanie giving Beckett a hug and getting up.

"Night Lanie", said Beckett as Lanie got out of the room.

"Bye Beckett", said Esposito and Ryan looking at Beckett with gazes full of concern.

"Bye guys", said a sad Beckett.

She sat there lost in thought for a sometime until she fell asleep seating on the chair.

In the morning, around 9 o'clock she was woken up by someone poking her on the shoulder and the smell of coffee. She opened her eyes to see a redheaded teenager with a tired but sympathetic look, Alexis.

"Good morning detective", said Alexis handing her a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Alexis. Oh, you shouldn't have…", said Beckett grabbing the cup of coffee.

"After all we've been through last night, I thought you should need it", said Alexis.

"Where's everybody?" asked Beckett.

"Grandma's with dad in the room, Ryan and Esposito are at the precinct and Lanie's at your place packing some of your clothes in a suitcase", said Alexis.

"Why aren't you with Martha?", asked Beckett.

"I can't stay there for too long. I can't stand seeing my dad like this. Do you wanna go in?", asked Alexis with tearful eyes,

"Won't I be disturbing you two?", asked Beckett.

"No, not at all, I'm going to take grams to have breakfast somewhere. I just need to get out of this hospital for a while. Can you stay with him until we come back?", asked Alexis.

"Of course I can", said Beckett, thinking about how bad Alexis should be feeling, and wondering why she wasn't mad at her.

"Thank you detective", said Alexis,

"Please, call me Kate", said Beckett.

"I'm gonna get grams, I'll let you know when you can go inside", said Alexis.

"Okay, thank you", said Beckett.

"Thank you for staying with him for us, I can't stand hospitals for much time, and neither does grams", said Alexis.

"It's the least I can do", said Beckett.

"It wasn't your fault Kate", said Alexis.

"Why are you saying that?", asked Beckett.

"I can see how guilty you feel, but you shouldn't feel like this. I know my dad, he would have got you in there anyway or worse, he would go investigating on his own", said Alexis trying to fight tears.

"I-I'm glad to hear that from you Alexis… You don't have to be ashamed of crying in front of me either", said Beckett.

Alexis started to cry leaning her head against Beckett's shoulder. Beckett's arms went around her, holding her. She loved the girl like she was her daughter already. She wanted to be strong, but failed fighting the tears.

Some minutes later Alexis lifted her head and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"I'm gonna get grams", said Alexis getting up.

"Okay", said Beckett, getting herself together.

Alexis went to Castle's hospital room and came back with Martha, and gave Beckett a wave. Now Beckett knew she could go inside the room now without disturbing them.

Beckett got up and made her way towards Castle's room. It was big for a hospital room, there were two spaces, one with a double sofa bed, night, a flat-screen tv and a mini-fridge, probably where Alexis and Martha spent the night.

When she entered the other space and saw _him_. The sight made her want to cry, and that's what she did. She made her way towards an armchair next to the bed and held Castle's hand. It didn't have the warmth she felt when he normally touched her, it was cold and pale. His face was peaceful, like he was sleeping, but all she knew is that she didn't want to think about is that he would be like this forever.

"Castle? I know you probably can't hear me right now…", she sniffed, "I just needed to tell you, you know? Just to get it out… God, I feel like I lost my mind!", she laughed shakily. "Well, all this time we've been fighting crime together… It made me realize more and more each day… That I love you. I love you Castle…", she sniffed and blinked letting a tear fall down. "That's why you can't give up, I need to tell you face to face, you know?", she said crying. "It's kind of selfish isn't it?", she forced a smile. "I want you, all to myself…".

After saying this she remembered he had said the same to her… Memories of a day that though was last week seemed so long ago…

"Remember when you told me that?", she laughed shakily, "I miss you Castle! I miss your smile, the way you looked at me that gave me goose bumps… That night you kissed me…", she said remembering those years they spent together… Memories she wanted to live again so much.

She didn't know how much time she spent there talking to Castle and holding his hand, but soon came in Martha and Alexis and she thought it was best to leave.

"Looks like you had some things to catch up, didn't you?", smiled Martha.

"Yeah", said Beckett sniffing and wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"You should go home and take a shower dear, get some rest, you'll feel better", said Martha softly.

"I will, I'll ask Lanie to pick me up", said Beckett.

"Okay, we'll let you know if anything happens", said Martha.

"Thank you, I'd appreciate it", said Beckett with a smile.

"Goodbye Kate", said Alexis.

"Goodbye Alexis, goodbye Martha", said Beckett leaving the room.

"Goodbye detective", said Martha.

As soon as she left the room Beckett called Lanie.

"Hello?", said Lanie answering the phone.

"Hey Lanie, it's me, Kate, can you pick me up at the hospital? I'm without the car", said Beckett.

"Of course, I'll be right there!", said Lanie.

"Thanks Lanie", said Beckett.

"Oh, you're welcome", said Lanie.

"Bye", said Beckett.

"Bye", said Lanie.

Some minutes later Lanie appeared on the hospital door and Beckett went to greet her. They hugged and went to the parking lot where Lanie's car was parked.


	3. Hope

**Well, here it goes guys, the third chapter. I hope it doesn't sound cliché, but that's what I imagined. I'm thinking about making a fourth chapter right away :) **

**So, here it is, remember, reviews are always welcome ;)**

**Chapter 3 - Hope**

They entered the car and Lanie started it.

"So, you feeling better?", asked Lanie with a worried look on her face.

"Kind of…", said Beckett. "Alexis came to talk to me today…", then she told Lanie what happened.

"She cares about you, that girl", said Lanie.

"I know, I really care about her too, but she really needs Castle", said Beckett.

"We all do, sweetie, we all do", said Lanie.

The conversation ended and Beckett started wondering. What would she do without Castle? One of the reasons she was pushing him away was that she didn't want things to change between them, and now she thinks she shouldn't have done it. If only she had the chance to kiss his lips one more time, hold him… Then the image of his body, lying on that hospital bed entered her thoughts and she started tearing.

Lanie saw her friend's tears on the rearview mirror, but decided to stay quiet. She knew that no one could really make Beckett feel better about what happened, other than Castle, of course, which was kind of improbable at the moment.

When Beckett started paying attention to the streets she realized they weren't headed for her place, they were going to Lanie's.

"Lanie, why are you taking me to your place?", asked Beckett.

"You're gonna stay with me for some time okay? I already packed a suitcase with some of your clothes!", said Lanie.

Then Beckett remembered that Alexis told her Lanie would do that.

"I don't want to be a burden Lanie, I can sleep all by myself, really, I'm a grown up girl", said Beckett.

"I'll feel better if you go to my place. I worry about you!", said Lanie.

Beckett decided to give up, she knew she couldn't change Lanie's mind.

They reached Lanie's place sometime later. Beckett decided she should take a shower and at least brush her teeth. Her neck was hurting from sleeping on that chair, so she decided to take some analgesics. Lanie gave Beckett a towel and her toothbrush and Beckett entered the bathroom.

Beckett almost couldn't find the courage to look at herself in the mirror. When she looked at her reflection she saw tired, swollen, bloodshot eyes staring back at her. Her hair was a mess, she looked awful.

After a taking a relaxing hot shower and brushing her teeth, Beckett got out of the bathroom and saw Lanie with a coat under her arm.

"I don't know about you, but I'm _starving_", said Lanie, "Let's go get something for lunch".

"I'm not hungry Lanie", said Beckett.

"Come on! You have to put some food in there!", said Lanie, "Besides, you haven't got anything aside from the coffee Alexis gave you this morning". Not noticing changes in Beckett's expression Lanie said "At least come and keep me some company". And made a puppy dog face.

"Okay Lanie, I'm coming with you", said Beckett smiling and rolling her eyes playfully.

"Yay! Let's go then", said Lanie taking the keys and opening the door.

They ended up going to a Chinese restaurant near Lanie's place. They arrived there and sat on a table near the window. Lanie ordered what she usually did, Beckett wasn't really in the mood for eating, but she ordered some soup.

The two ate and Beckett insisted in paying the bill, since she was staying at Lanie's place she figured it was the least she could do.

They went to Lanie's place. When they got there Beckett went to the guest bedroom. Realizing she was tired because of all that happened today she told Lanie she was going to take a nap.

While asleep she had a nightmare. Castle had been shot, like in real life, but she couldn't do anything, he had _died_. The paramedics couldn't revive him, she screamed but no one heard her. In the nightmare everyone blamed her for what happened. She felt awful. She could hear people's voices, Lanie's, Esposito's, Ryan's, Alexis's, Martha's.

The last words she heard were "Beckett! Beckett! Wake up!". It was Lanie, apparently she was screaming while she slept and Lanie heard it from the living room.

"It was horrible Lanie!", said a tearful Beckett.

"I got it from the screams, it was about Castle, wasn't it?", said Lanie.

"Yeah, it was", said Beckett and told Lanie what happened in her nightmare.

* * *

><p>The week went by and Beckett went to the hospital everyday when Alexis called her. She would go there, sit on the armchair next to Castle and talk to him, knowing he wouldn't answer.<p>

His condition hadn't changed, the doctors didn't know if he would make it out of the coma or not, but they shouldn't give up hoping.

Every night she had nightmares about what happened the night Castle was shot, about how he was, lying in that hospital bed. The captain had dismissed her for some time because of what happened. Watching her after Castle's coma was depressing, her eyes were usually swollen and bloodshot from crying.

Ten days after the incident Beckett went to the hospital for her usual visit. She greeted Alexis and Martha and entered the room. She took her usual seat on the armchair next to the bed. She held Castle's hand.

"Hi there Castle… You probably heard what I said the whole week, didn't you?", said Beckett. "If you did… I really meant it you know? Like every word. ".

"I feel so lonely without you Castle… I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'll do if you…die", said Beckett gasping on the last word.

She looked at his face, he seemed peaceful, like he was sleeping and having sweet dreams. It made her realize she was really tired, because every night she'd cry herself to sleep and have nightmares.

Beckett fell asleep, holding Castle's hand. She woke up, jumping because of a sudden feeling. It was Castle, he was squeezing her hand.

"Castle!", she said starting to tear. But, for the first time in ten days, it was tears of joy, of happiness. "Oh, Castle!"

Castle opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw since he got shot was the beautiful face of his favorite detective. She was tearful, but had a huge smile on her face.

A nurse heard Beckett's screams and entered the room. "What happened miss? Is there something wrong?", asked the nurse with a worried look on her face.

"No, not at all! He's awake! Castle's awake!", said Beckett.

"Oh my God! I'm going to tell the doctors!", said the nurse and rushed out of the room.

"You scared me so much Castle", said Beckett wiping tears with the back of her free hand. "I thought you'd never wake up!".

She looked at him, he seemed happy, his eyes gleamed, probably from tears. He seemed to recognize her, though some people have amnesia after a coma. But she could almost see in his eyes the happiness he was feeling when he saw her.

The doctor arrived at the room and asked Beckett if she could wait outside for some time. She nodded, squeezed Castle's hand one more time and went to the waiting room.

Some time later the doctor arrived, he said he'd called Alexis and Martha and they were on their way, and said that probably in a week he'd be home already, probably without damage to his health.

Beckett almost jumped in joy, she didn't get him killed! Castle was fine! She figured it was time for her to leave, so she called Lanie.

"Hello?", answered Lanie.

"Lanie!", said Beckett.

"What? What happened?", asked a confused Lanie.

"It's Castle, Lanie, he's out of the coma!", said Beckett letting her happiness show on her voice.

"What? Really? That is so great!", said Lanie cheerful.

"Yeah! I didn't kill him Lanie, I'm so, so happy!", said Beckett.

"That's great, it'll be good knowing you won't be blaming yourself for what happened. You want me to pick you up at the hospital?",asked Lanie.

"Yes, I'm thinking my shift is over, Martha and Alexis are arriving at any minute", said Beckett.

"Okay, I'm coming!", said Lanie.

"Great, thanks Lanie", said Beckett.

"You're welcome! Bye!", said Lanie.

"Bye!", said a cheerful Kate Beckett.


	4. The Recovery

**Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to update it, I was having writer's block... It's pretty short, but I promise the next one will be longer. Thank you for reading :)**

**Chapter 4 - The Recovery**

The week went by and Castle was making a quick recovery. His brain was intact, without amnesia, he took a little time to talk again, but he was now talking normally. The doctors were thinking he would make a total recovery and could go home to his family by the weekend.

Beckett decided to let Castle stay with his family on the week of his recovery, partly because she didn't want to take him from his family, and partly because she didn't know what she would say when she saw Castle again. She opened herself to him, but it was different, he wasn't awake, staring at her with his blue eyes, with his boyish smile that made her knees feel weak. Lanie let her go back to her place and she could work normally at the precinct again.

After the news about Castle, Ryan, Esposito and Captain Montgomery were cheerful, and expected to see him soon.

Beckett went to the precinct, but discovered there was only paperwork for her to do. While doing paperwork Beckett got lost in thought. What would she do when she saw Castle again? What would she say? How would he react? She didn't know exactly, but couldn't stop thinking about it.

She had to let it go, but couldn't concentrate on anything else. She was interrupted by daydreams and it took her a long time to do paperwork. The week went on really slowly, Beckett would turn and turn before she slept with her mind full of thoughts.

Then the time came, it was a Monday evening and Beckett was at her place finishing a bubble bath. She hadn't heard about Castle in days and figured she should call his place some time. She wrapped herself on a towel and went to her bedroom to get dressed. That's when she heard a knock on her door.

"Who would that be?", she thought. It wasn't like she was expecting anyone. She putted on a robe and went to get the door. When she looked through the peephole butterflies formed on her stomach. It was _him_, Richard Castle.

Oh great, now what? She could pretend she wasn't home, but that would be too childish. No, she wasn't going to do that, she opened her heart to this man, almost losing him made her realize she didn't love anyone else, she loved him, she needed him.

Beckett opened her door and saw him. He looked normal, but in his shirt there was some sort of bump, probably a bandage. She couldn't believe her eyes, she got to think she'd never see him again, and there he was, staring at her with his deep blue eyes.

When he saw her, a huge smile appeared in his face. The kind of smile that made her knees feel weak. Their height difference was bigger, because she was barefoot.

"Castle", she said almost in a whisper, and before she knew she was hugging him.

"Beckett", said Castle, slowly closing his eyes, inhaling the scent of her hair.

Beckett didn't think she'd have the chance to do what she was doing right now, so she took the chance and hugged him as tightly as she could and buried her face on his chest. She began to tear, out of joy, happiness, and sadness from what she suffered through the last days. She could feel his heart beating, the heat emanating from his chest and his scent… It felt like nothing she ever felt before, she felt somehow safe, there in his arms, like nothing could touch her.

"I missed you", said Beckett against his chest.

"I missed you too", said Castle, kissing the top of her head softly.

Castle could feel his shirt soaking with Beckett's tears.

"Hey, hey, what's the problem?", he asked softly, clearly worried.

"I-I didn't think I'd be able to do this", said Beckett against his chest.

"Shhh, Kate, I'm here! I'm okay!", said Castle, as he felt her tremble and his shirt soaking more and more, starting to caress her head.

Just by looking at her, he could see that the walls she built during their years together were collapsing, she didn't avoid contact, she didn't use sarcasm and irony… She was just a relieved and somehow happy, Katherine Beckett.

They stayed like this for some time, "You okay?", asked Castle, still caressing her head gently.

Beckett sniffed, "Yeah, I-I think so", she said lifting her head from his chest.

He looked at her, even though she'd be crying and had her face a little swelled, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He wiped a falling tear from her face with his thumb and looked at her. Her eyes were gleaming, because of the tears. He gave her a smile and she smiled back a faint smile.

"So… How much did you hear?", asked Beckett picking up a strand of hair and curling it with her finger.

"Hum…. Pretty much everything", said Castle.

"Oh…", said Beckett, starting to blush and looking down.

"Katherine Beckett is that shame I see in you?", said Castle playfully.

Beckett could feel her face getting warmer and warmer, she just bit her lip, kept looking down and hoped Castle wouldn't notice.

"You're cute when you blush, did you know that?", he said with a smile.

Damn it, he saw it, of course he saw it, her face was burning, it was obviously really red. She heard Castle chuckle, he was certainly enjoying himself.

"I love you Kate", said Castle softly.

The shock made Beckett's head lift. Had she heard it right? Did Castle just tell her he loved her? She could hear her heart beating, her ears were like "thump-thump".

**Aaand, cliffhanger! I'll try to update the sooner I can guys! ;)**


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